they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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