it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
