chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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