She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
