hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
