THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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