is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Quick, to the slutcave!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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