so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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