i don't like sucking hair
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
