Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
vagina is talking i cant
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
