dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
