I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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