After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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