every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
