i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
