I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
