U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
