did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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