Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
