i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
