is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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