omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
