i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
