I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
