Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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