You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
