she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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