He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
