Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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