I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
