Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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