i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
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