Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
