I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
