he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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