actually, I'm a sock model
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
