I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
