I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
