mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
