Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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