Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
