Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
