please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
