census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
