he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
