Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
no you cant smoke seaweed
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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