I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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