you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
