either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
