another moral hangover. fuck.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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