Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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