how hairy? two words: wookie tits
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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