Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
NoShamevember. You game?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
