i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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