hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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