About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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