i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
