weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
