I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
