So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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