I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
