One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
