a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
