I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
