i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
