You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
