I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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