I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
