I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize