better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
