Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
His nipple licking is glorious
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