so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
